small things: Funerals can be terrible and wonderful

Funerals can be terrible and wonderful things all at the same time.

It can be unbearable to even think of living without a loved one and crushing to see other loved ones feel the same pain or more. It can be surreal and feel almost like you’re in a dream especially when a death is unexpected or premature. That was certainly the case with my brother-in-law Gary. I can’t imagine a family gathering without his big heart and teasing grin. He will be missed terribly.

But one thing I’ve learned over the years is that there is always good to be found in any situation, even a funeral.

During this time, we had the great opportunity to reminese about old times, to remember funny stories, and inspiring deeds. All sorts of people came together to honor Gary, support the family and show love to others in pain. Countless people gave of themselves through service by offering their homes for our family, preparing and serving food, driving long distances, cleaning, shuttling, calling, organizing, and listening. So many lives were touched by this experience.

Then there’s the funeral service itself. I always worry about how it will go. Will it be depressing or inspirational? It can be instrumental on how one moves forward. Gary’s was the later. I think we all left there wanting to be better people. Although there were many tears shed, not all were out of sorrow. Some were funny. Some were in honor. Some were inspired. But certainly all came from love. They were not only directed at Gary, but to God and his great Plan. It was comforting to hear and know that life isn’t random, death has a purpose, and that we will all live again. His brothers Robert and Joseph and brother-in-law Dave, all did a wonderful job at honoring Gary and reminding us of the big picture.

And my favorite part about funerals, if there can be one, is that family comes together. They make it bearable. Just their very presence reminds me that we are one. We are linked together forever through God’s great Plan of Salvation. It would be crushing to think of never seeing them again, but death loses it’s sting in the faith of eternal life as a family, God’s family.

So...life goes on, but with additional love, faith, and hope in a bright future.